my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet
me arriving at the gates of hell
(Source: dyinglolita, via johnnyhotson)
Street harassment is not a compliment.
Ah I just discovered that you can scroll through really long photos omg???
It didn’t do this before or am I just late to the party
good posts with a long string of terrible comments
good posts with a self promo from lolsofunny and sodamnrelatable
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
Hello I am the butt inspector I am here to inspect ur butt
Some might say
you’re an analyst
Jesus fucking christ
(Source: naminesexual, via thedoctorisaconsultinghunter)