yes hello this is your pilot speaking and by pilot i mean i read a wikihow on flying a plane once so i guess ill just have to WING it haha just a little pilot humor okie dokie nothing to worry about folks im sure i can figure this out
i hope on the very last episode of parks and rec, mark brendanawicz comes to visit the parks department and hes like “hey leslie hows the park?” and shes like “what park” and hes like “the park you said you were building years ago. didn’t it ever get built” and the camera cuts to leslie’s panic-stricken face and she goes “oh fuck” and the screen cuts to black
"bisexuals have straight passing privilege" did you mean bi erasure ? having people constantly assume im straight or gay based on who im dating or how I dress isn’t a privilege. it’s degrading and ignorant.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
Just so you all know, I totally rocked the house on my new job today. It was my first day actually on the phones and even though for the first few weeks we’re only expected to hit 50-60% of our quota, I was at 93.3% tonight. Aaanndd it was a slow night for most people.
Was anyone else a little bit disappointed that the kick ass Lady Counsel Member turned out to be Natasha? Still love Natasha, but for a few glorious seconds, it was awesome to see an older woman come out of nowhere to kick ass.
Oh hell yes. For one glorious moment this movie was going to be the utter best thing ever made. And then…. well it was still cool but such a disappointment we didn’t get unexpected kick ass over 40 woman.
Did we ever even find out what happened to the counsel member?
Natasha “yeah I don’t have any super-powers so beefy American dude just do me a favor and throw me up in the fucking air because I want to wrassle me an alien (and don’t forget I figured out the big misogynistic baddy’s plan by playing him like a chump and later literally punched some sense into our brainwashed team member lol call me when you need somebody to close the trans-dimensional portal to fucking OUTER SPACE)” Romanoff
Ohmygod, no way?? It’s almost as if that’s exactly what John Greenintended.
"Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production."